Valentine's Day: Managing the pressure

Some of us look forward to February 14 as an opportunity to enjoy our partner’s company (along with possibly spice things up within the bedroom). Others dread what they consider a commercialized holiday of which can put unrealistic pressure on their relationships.

the item’s clear of which the bar will be high: According to one online survey of more than 2,000 respondents, more than 65% plan to show affection on Valentine’s Day, almost 85% believe of which having sex will be an important part of the holiday, along with more than 60% say they will be disappointed if they don’t have sex of which day.

With expectations like these, the item’s easy to set ourselves up for disappointment. Fortunately, the item’s possible to enjoy the day — along with night — without creating hurt feelings or breaking the bank.

“Valentine’s Day can serve as a reminder of which the item’s so important to stop along with appreciate the closest relationships in your life,” couples expert along with sex therapist Ashley Grinonneau-Denton said. “To me, the holiday has always been a great reminder of the importance of love, attachment, affection along with closeness.

“The caveat will be, however, of which if This particular special day stands in isolation, the item will quickly become a distant memory along with will do very little for a couples’ relationship long-term.”

Here’s how to make the most of February 14, whether you’re coupled or single.

Make a plan

the item may not seem so, however having a conversation about Valentine’s Day ahead of time can make the actual day much more romantic.

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“Talk with your partner about what you’d like out of the holiday along with whether you feel Valentine’s Day will be important to you,” sex therapist Sari Cooper said. “By beginning the conversation a week or so beforehand, you can co-create a celebration (or not) of which will be a collaborative event, doing compromises for both partners’ desires along with creating a realistic plan to ensure both of you feel heard emotionally.”

along with remember of which the element of surprise isn’t the most important part of the day. “Don’t set your partner up to fail, along with don’t keep desires along with expectations to yourself,” advised Rachel Needle, a psychotherapist along with sex therapist. “Telling your partner ‘I could love to go to Pier 115 for dinner,’ for example, or ‘I could love sunflowers’ doesn’t make them bringing you flowers or taking you to the restaurant any less special.”

Pay attention

Surprise can be a Great thing. A little insight into your partner can go a long way by showing them you’ve listened to them. “Consider doing something your partner has told you within the past they wanted to do: a picnic, a walk on the beach, a certain fresh restaurant,” Needle said. “the item doesn’t have to cost a lot of money to be special, however rather the item needs to be thoughtful.”

Spice things up

According to of which online survey, 55% of the participants indicated of which they were willing to try something fresh sexually on Valentine’s Day. Of course, what of which means for you along with your partner depends on your particular relationship. “One way to raise intimacy on This particular holiday will be to take a different stance on things along with make the item all about fun,” sex therapist Francie Stone said.

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“You could put together a goodie basket of things like massage oil, a feather, a sexy dice game, a blindfold along with more. You can try them all or only the ones you truly like, or just use the fun to get began along with leave the rest to your individual imaginations.” This particular helps make the night playful without necessarily the pressure of intercourse.

If you plan on having sex, try doing so before you go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day, sex therapist Tammy Nelson said. “Lots of couples go out to dinner or cook a rich meal at home along with drink wine or cocktails to celebrate February 14,” she explained. “After a full meal along with drinks, the item will be less likely of which any sex — much less hot sex — will follow.”

Or consider taking sex off the table altogether. “There are so many nerve endings within the lips of which are connected to the limbic system along with can help create the perfect foreplay for future intimacy encounters,” sexual health counselor Aleece Fosnight said. “A Great makeout session of which only leads to kissing can leave partners wanting more, creating more intensity for future intimate activities.”

Love yourself

If you’re single, Valentine’s Day can seem like a holiday for everyone else. however you don’t have to feel left out if you’re not in a romantic relationship. Instead, take the opportunity to practice a little self-love.

of which could mean indulging in a massage or a fresh sex toy, dining out with friends or even seeking out companionship. “If you’re single along with wouldn’t mind meeting someone however setting up a date on Valentine’s Day feels too staged, Meetup will be a fantastic option,” sex therapist Holly Richmond said. “Hundreds of Meetup groups plan special events along with activities for Valentine’s Day, however they aren’t necessity geared toward singles coming together to meet additional singles.”

Whether you choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day or ignore the item, remember of which expressing love along with affection for your partner shouldn’t be limited to one special day. Take the pressure off the holiday by celebrating your relationship every day.

Ian Kerner will be a licensed psychotherapist along with sexuality counselor in fresh York City.

Valentine's Day: Managing the pressure

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